Here is instance where my goals are a detriment to my success. I am right in the first week of CampNaNoWriMo and have decided to undertake it just as I would NaNoWriMo in November. 50,000 words. That’s right – fifty with a thousand attached. July is one of the slower months for my career, so I envisioned an ideal writing situation. Leave work, head to gym, home to shower and eat, then write for the remainder of the night. TheWife and I even cancelled our television to reduced distractions (and excessive bills). I thought it a pretty perfect opportunity. However, the truth is in the…well, I am not sure how that saying goes. I would say that the proof is in the pudding, but I cannot eat pudding as it goes against my nutrition and exercise plan. So for me, the facts are in the failure. I have written somewhere in the neighborhood of 4,000 words since July 1st, well off of the pace that I had set for myself. I need to average 1,800 words a day to near my goal and have been shooting for 2,000+ to ensure that I surpass it. That has obviously not happened. This weekend was a prime opportunity for me to make headway and get caught up on my lackadaisical efforts thus far. I failed. I have come full circle to where I started this blog – filled with the fear of writing. I have gone from a rough idea for a novel, to really fine-tuning my plot structure, to filling in some holes with new antagonists and arcs, to staring at my computer screen with nothing but dread to put fingers to keys. I have read other blogs like Lauren’s WriteCity which dole out useful advice and motivation. I read these posts, saying “Yes! That is it! That is what I need to do to get words on the page.” And yet, here I am. I read this article about writing by hand and how your brain works differently than if you were typing. The association for word choice is improved with longhand while with typing, your brain in simply recalling which key to press next. I think that there may be validity to that on some level, but I feel daunted by the thought that I would need to write my story by hand, and then transcribe it, and then edit it. Computers are meant to make these sorts of endeavors easier – I think that I am just looking for excuses. I do not know what to do really. Should I do warm up exercises to get garbled words out of my head – to give me some clarity and focus and set a pace for that day’s session? Should I try using something like DragonSpeak and see if dictating my story would be easier (after all, we are telling a story, so perhaps an oral approach would be beneficial)? I feel as though I have just entered a cornfield and no matter where I look, I am smack dab in the middle of a confusing and endless situation.